Mediocrity sometimes burrows its way into my brain. Born into a mediocre family in a mediocre city, I shined as a kid. Amongst the many smart and gifted students, I was seen as a leader. Funny, fun to be around, pays close attention to my surroundings and how others are feeling, and ultimately someone who might do big things. And yet, we find mediocrity. I go to a normal school, have a normal job, have very few friends (if really any at this point), and can’t hold down a partner for longer than a couple months.

When I am with others, all I do is put a smile on their face. I make people laugh, I make sure they are comfortable and happy with where they’re at in life and if not, I am huge on encouragements and making sure they are at least pointed in the right direction. Yet, when I am alone, the truth shines bright.

I don’t think mediocrity is a problem either. The law of averages pretty much requires some of us to be exceptional, most to be medioce, and some to fall short of what society deems acceptable. It’s just the disappointment in which you dream so big, because others have encouraged it, and you end up with nothing. It’s the idea that I peaked well before I entered high school and life now lacks any foward progression and is full of sidestepping.

I never really cared to think about why one inidivual differs from another. I’ve always thought that every person has some sort of purpose in this life, whether it’s extremely local or much grander. And I never thought that one purpose was greater than another. But then I started meeting new people, I branched outside of what I might consider “comfortable” relationships and I saw that even if one purpose doesn’t shine brighter than another, the drive that people have is extremely different.

Some people are perhaps destined to change their community and the lives of others, but they may lack any sort of drive. Some may just be destined to provide for their family, but they will absolutely exhaust themselves to make it happen.

When I say mediocrity is a recent constant inside my mind, it’s less about the dwelling and more a motivation to drive even harder. When the negative thoughts flow through, I tend to choose to row against it as hard as possible. I have what it takes to change the lives of many and I will make sure I see it through.